What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
