It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Its about making memories worth repressing
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
