Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
