I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
