is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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