ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
