I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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