you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
