OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
