but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
