We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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