Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
