batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
