Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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