We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
