I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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