did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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