i barfeds in our rink
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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