Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
