Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
