hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
