why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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