dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
