You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
