I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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