Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
