Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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