i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
