im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
