I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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