When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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