wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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