You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Randomize
