And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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