dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
