I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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