this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Someone came in the potted fern
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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