is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
