I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
