And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
