so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i now understand why vodka
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
