She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
