its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
