im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
