She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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