Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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