Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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