We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
