end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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