Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
