SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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